Not to be confused with the man on the moon. Over the last few weeks or so, I've been doing a lot of thinking about God. Now I don't want to scare you all away with a huge sermon or anything, and I'm certainly not here to preach, almost the opposite in fact. But I have to say, over the last few weeks with the huge changes that have been happening in my life, a few things have prompted me to evaluate where I stand with the whole 'give your life to Jesus to be fulfilled' thing.
I used to be quite dedicated to the christian belief a few years ago, primarily instigated by being surrounded by fellow Christians, friends and even a boyfriend at one stage. Now I've had a good long think, and I can't really tell if believing or not believing has put me in a better place. I know when good things happen when you're a believer you're all "It was God's work that rewarded me," or "God made this happen" but when you don't believe, good things still happen, sometimes better I'd say. Now it's very easy to manipulate God's word in the bible, and I can't go saying that religious people do it, but I know that some do. If bad things happen while you believe it was your fault, because you made the wrong choices, not God.
So it got me to wondering, why do good things happen when you don't believe? There's the whole theory on "God is trying to give you second chances" and all that. But if we were to do a study on how 'happy' people are and compare those who have faith and those who don't, how different would the results be? I mean as far as I can tell life is pretty much the same for people who make similar choices regardless of their faith. I guess that faith allows those who face hardship to hold onto hope that a higher power will see them through. I have to admit, if for nothing else at all, being able to 'talk' to God, by way of a chat or prayer, is comforting to in the fact that you know that you can't hide anything or lie to yourself because this person you're having the one-sided convo with already knows the whole story, you can't embellish or defend yourself, and so you're forced to accept the deadline truth regardless of your conscience. That in itself I think is a very compelling reason to believe. It offers a lot of comfort.
But if we're to argue that the purpose of life is to be happy on your journey from nappies to deathbed, then how much difference does 'believing' really make? I don't mean to sound skeptical, but a good Christian friend of mine once told me that God wants us to question his existence - which is what I'm doing now. I haven't prayed or believed in a long time, not in the strictest Christian sense, I subconsciously believe that God or a God exits, it's been instilled in me since birth, but the relevance he has to my life, or even society is lost on me. There has been no physical evidence of the existence of a God since the days in which the bible was written and Jesus walked the earth. Really - what can we prove? Maybe God died, has it been considered that he was not as immortal as we'd hoped? Perhaps he created another world not corrupt with the seven sins he despised so much.
Either way, I can't seem to find an answer that fits except that he doesn't exist, but I still don't want to blindly claim that there is no God. It's a nice thought isn't it?
Anyway I mean not to offend, but just to voice my thoughts on the matter.
Do everything you can so that it's beautiful. Jxx